Exhalation

Posted on July 28, 2013. Filed under: a look in my book, Change of Pace, justice, Mental Hurling, Prose | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Thoughtlessly unappreciated and seemingly tossed randomly about by fate
Numbed to the chaos a gift can emerge from acceptance of the unthinkable
Survive and one becomes tempered
Like the finest steel however forged in misfortune and misunderstanding
Each violation, real or perceived, a misfortunate but well placed strike of the hammer
Shaping a future
Pain and torment, possible confusion, solitude and feelings of helplessness
To state time heals all wounds is a blanket lie, it takes work and insight.
Seeking wisdom or intellectual gain from loathsome events…
Is not pretty nor is it easily acquired
Patience and examination of the minutia of each nightmare endured
With sadistic resolution to admit and own every flaw,
Acceptance and forgiveness of actions or inaction
In order to reach a higher understanding
An often bittersweet realization due to the process is amazing
One can discover that in each experience
Whether it brings marvel or misery
There is something of great worth
A priceless commodity to be gained.
Some of the most tragic and agonizing events
Upon deep reflection often yield the most amazing epiphanies
New-found strength, Previously unimagined adaptability
The forgiveness of others as well as ones self, Incredible personal growth
Unexpected insight into ones own psyche
The unbridled joy of turning pain into a positive gift
The myriad of benefits in the wake of any torturous event
Are restricted only by ones fear of reliving the mental pain.
Sifting through each atrocity to find any grain of knowledge
Aiding any tiny spark that may, and generally will, help come to terms.
Promoting the reduction of future instances where any similar nightmares
Might vie to hold power over your thoughts or preset fears that might dictate negative actions
Seek and discover the positive then learn to let the negative go
It can be the beginning of a path to eventual bliss
Upon successful endurance of a catastrophic event
If and when one chooses to commit to find the good when mired in misery
 
Consider this a challenge, dare, a plea from a voice of experience
Look for the positive, it is there. It may be deeply buried
The quest at times will almost surely create degrees of duress but know this:
There is no greater reward (though painful) than to fight and survive,
Eventually come to terms with an unthinkable ordeal
Then find joy or peace, acceptance through sincere reflection in it’s wake.

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YES WAY!

Posted on May 27, 2012. Filed under: Miscellaneous | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I am finally at a place of such understanding… immersion therapy? I am so clear now .. thank you for your criminal nightmarish no less than torturous … 4? 5 month assault to lead me to my own liberation. I am able to accept who I am, who everyone else is, my place and my ability to know I have no desire to struggle to pretend to belong with people who are constantly embracing and demanding affi…rmation of things irrational and illogical. I am non violent. So many people are, intolerant, judgemental, violent, hateful… ok. I am not. I have no ability even force myself to be around anyone of the sort. I accept the term disabled and wear it with a smile. If you fear me… Good. Stay away. It isn’t for your safety… I’m harmless. It’s for mine.
haha in my declaration of liberation… I overcooked my celebratory (vegetarian yaya) cheese pizza. No silly juvenile declaration of being a neon banana (hammock juliemeowmeow hehe) to make me giggle – or creation of any scenario real or theoretical is going to undo the fact that my choices are… eat overly brownish cheese while it’s hot OR let it get cold while I Momgyver a solution to make it g…ooey.
Either way… I’m going to enjoy my pizza and I will happily… and completely with all sanity and intellect in tact and under no way as a result of instability… tell my pizza all about how wonderful it is and it’s beauty for being what it is. And that I am going to eat it whether it wants me to or not. Not to cause damage, just because that is why it exists. My pizza is going to do nothing but be put in my mouth chewed and swallowed. It is my friend in that it won’t give me a nasty look (…..) and will just let me feel expressive and I find such joy in that.
Pat yourselves on the back. I talk to inanimate things so I have a way to embrace a chance for expression without any incapacitated intellect judging me by using ignorance as a reason to (haha) feel smug and foolishly indict my sanity.
Wow, that pizza is reeealy wrong. I’m off to try not to abuse some pizza rolls. I’m so going to euthanize my abhorant creation and spare the poor thing on my stove haha.  Here Coco (:
(Coco isn’t Mikey, she won’t eat ANYthing, but my babypuppy always gets first shot before the fatty ratties get treats… if none of us can stand it…  banishment to oblivion=Trash)
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SMProverb

Posted on July 24, 2011. Filed under: Miscellaneous, Prose | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

An electrified world full of hypocrisy, there your claim: top of your kind

Your sham dripping with irony because what you tout is maligned

Audaciously you solicit adoration, arrogantly blow your own horn

But woe to the fool pushing platitudes to which their ego can’t conform.

~Eggfucius   circa: onayesterday~

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