Haiku for you

Posted on November 15, 2016. Filed under: Miscellaneous | Tags: , , , , , , |

I’m not always happy
Try to fake it till I make it
What a load of crap

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Quite an Odd Feeling

Posted on May 1, 2016. Filed under: a look in my book, Mental Hurling, Miscellaneous, Prose | Tags: , , , , , , |

Quite an odd feeling,
something being gone when you expect it to be there.
Sometimes it takes the absence of something you take for granted to make you see
An obvious sentiment however one that bears repeating.

Little bits of my mind are lost, things I thought I needed.
Lost, I can call it such because I actually miss what is gone.
Lost implies you can possibly recover something, just a matter of will.
Regardless of the terminology, the bottom line is, I am no longer whole.

How easy it is to shut down, to not see.
The ability to bend reality in your own mind is a beautiful thing but transient.
Reality is persistent.
Eventually it will creep back in, steal into your thoughts, ruin any construction
you choose to hide behind.
No matter how grand or how simple you decide to make your perception of a situation,
the reality of it will get you eventually.

If time is a luxury then I am more poor than I imagined.
Each tick of the clock brings me that much closer to actually seeing.
The things I cannot acknowledge will not be ignored.
Where do you hide when your mind betrays you,
when you can no longer blind yourself?

I spend my time unwisely.
In these moments I have been given what have I accomplished?
Each breath I draw is a lost moment, one where no dream was achieved,
no progress made, nothing beneficial.
Just a simple exchange of oxygen for carbon dioxide.
The world will spin with or without any of us.

Where do you look to find a point?
Do you listen to the word of another?
Ultimately we answer to no one but ourselves.

Why must I mentally drag myself to even the most mundane of actions?
There is something there, something driving me, an answer, I know there is.
I have to make a choice.
A large part of me looks at all of this life’s possibilities and feels the
urge to jump to action.

What is unfortunate is even the smallest doubt can outweigh the best of intentions.
This burden, knowing the magnitude of what I have lost, weighs more than
I know how to bear.
I am at the mercy of my own insecurity, my own inaction.

There is an answer, there is an explanation.
It is part of what is lost and I cling to the possibility of finding it.
I now sit as I have so many times, fooling myself into believing I will
recover that missing magic bit of information.
I think it is this delusion alone that powers my ability to move at all.

I am here, I will be here, I will keep looking.
I promise not to stray too far if you promise not to point out
that I move in circles.

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Exhalation

Posted on July 28, 2013. Filed under: a look in my book, Change of Pace, justice, Mental Hurling, Prose | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Thoughtlessly unappreciated and seemingly tossed randomly about by fate
Numbed to the chaos a gift can emerge from acceptance of the unthinkable
Survive and one becomes tempered
Like the finest steel however forged in misfortune and misunderstanding
Each violation, real or perceived, a misfortunate but well placed strike of the hammer
Shaping a future
Pain and torment, possible confusion, solitude and feelings of helplessness
To state time heals all wounds is a blanket lie, it takes work and insight.
Seeking wisdom or intellectual gain from loathsome events…
Is not pretty nor is it easily acquired
Patience and examination of the minutia of each nightmare endured
With sadistic resolution to admit and own every flaw,
Acceptance and forgiveness of actions or inaction
In order to reach a higher understanding
An often bittersweet realization due to the process is amazing
One can discover that in each experience
Whether it brings marvel or misery
There is something of great worth
A priceless commodity to be gained.
Some of the most tragic and agonizing events
Upon deep reflection often yield the most amazing epiphanies
New-found strength, Previously unimagined adaptability
The forgiveness of others as well as ones self, Incredible personal growth
Unexpected insight into ones own psyche
The unbridled joy of turning pain into a positive gift
The myriad of benefits in the wake of any torturous event
Are restricted only by ones fear of reliving the mental pain.
Sifting through each atrocity to find any grain of knowledge
Aiding any tiny spark that may, and generally will, help come to terms.
Promoting the reduction of future instances where any similar nightmares
Might vie to hold power over your thoughts or preset fears that might dictate negative actions
Seek and discover the positive then learn to let the negative go
It can be the beginning of a path to eventual bliss
Upon successful endurance of a catastrophic event
If and when one chooses to commit to find the good when mired in misery
 
Consider this a challenge, dare, a plea from a voice of experience
Look for the positive, it is there. It may be deeply buried
The quest at times will almost surely create degrees of duress but know this:
There is no greater reward (though painful) than to fight and survive,
Eventually come to terms with an unthinkable ordeal
Then find joy or peace, acceptance through sincere reflection in it’s wake.

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Magic word contest -CANCELLED

Posted on February 23, 2013. Filed under: Announcements, Contests, Mental Hurling, Miscellaneous, Musings, Prose, why the hell not | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Ask anyone to say the magic word
invariably they will say “please.”
That is a fallacy, a lie, it holds no power.
I know true magic.
A single word – when spoken properly –
can devistate.
This word can end lives.
Destroy families.
Cause the mightiest of men to question their own worth.
This damning word is tricky,
it is generally benign in nature.
We use it every day.
The evil magic it holds is manifested by the speaker.
It’s duality only exsists due to the capacity
for cruelty in men’s hearts… or women’s.
Both are as likely to curse another
with this life altering utterance.
Once viciously used, once Pandora’s box is opened,
it’s never truly the same afterward,
it’s never quite shut again.
Try as you wish, no ammends are complete.
The word leaves it’s mark on the receiver.
I dare not divulge the secret
I will say this:
Speak not in anger and do not be rash.
Words can be powerful.
Burning bridges can consume in a literal sense…

I REGRET TO ANNOUNCE THE CONTEST HAS BEEN COMPROMISED AND THEREFORE IS OFFICIALLY CANCELLED.

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE SUDDEN DECISION HOWEVER IT IS DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND MY CONTROL.

JUST FOR FUN… IF YOU WOULD STILL LIKE TO VENTURE A GUESS YOU MAY ATTEMPT CALLING THE EGGLINE AT 908-FOR-EGGS.

THANK YOU

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It’s me!

Posted on November 28, 2012. Filed under: Announcements, goofy crap, Miscellaneous, Musings, why the hell not | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

image

Before I Launch into red again… Here I am!

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Needy

Posted on November 28, 2012. Filed under: Mental Hurling, Miscellaneous, Musings, Prose | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

An ancient tool, little else
passed from hand to hand.
Its origin is unknown
- workings quite the mystery
Each who wields it leaves their mark
- shapes future outcomes.
But such things lay in mystery
to random hands.
The tool, a marvel a menace,
some leave, work incomplete 
incapable of tolerating the unmistakable
and incessant noise it produces.
Those who tolerate and persevere 
are rewarded with wonder and delight.
Once set in motion this tool
- indescribable!
Yet fallible, it lays silent,
glaring signs of misuse and harm scattered
across its silent form.
Even in the most malevolent hands
it has produced surreal sights,
sublime beauty.
It has a purpose and that is its gift.
Time and distraction combined 
to cancel the mechanism
It makes no sound.
Serves no purpose.
Produces no inspiration.
It withers alone, useless.
The victim of oversight
and inertia it waits.
Its inner workings longing 
for needy hands.
Denying the passage of time
since it last heard 
the useful whine of its gears and cogs
The constant audible reassurance,
I am here
I am of use
I can astound!
Stupidly, it sits immobile
hoping for the day desperation
leads curious hands
to let it feel alive one more time
Willing in every inch of its being 
to reward that with magnificence.

escm?11tymm
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Think

Posted on November 11, 2012. Filed under: Mental Hurling, Musings, Prose | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Those who claim to love themselves unconditionally generally do so ignorant of the true nature of their own mind. The duality of our thoughts are attributed to “evil” or outside forces. This can not be true. From the simmplest notions to the most complex emotions we are programmed. We behave and conciously think as we do because we are taught and conditioned to do so for the benefit of society.

However

To love yourself – all of yourself – you must accept the fact that that little voice in the back of your mind, …is valid. Those terrible thoughts of murderous rage. Lustful indiscretions. Selfish thoughtless-gimmie. Illegal, immoral, the pit is deep and dark. Those thoughts would  be acted upon if not for your training. Can you accept that? Think of all the horrible things that have crossed your mind. You conceivably are capable of each. Your subconcious spat it out, you created it, your doing.

Think long and hard about who you truly are.

Still in love with you?

sccirca10?

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Eggstacee.com

Posted on August 20, 2012. Filed under: Announcements | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

It is FINALLY working. At least it is online. It’s a practically bare page hehe…

The hosting company threw me a bone and fixed the issue preventing it from going live.

NOW the fun part, filling it in!

http://eggstacee.com

Yay!
The ground is now broken on the playground (:

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the contest eggline is back.

Posted on August 6, 2012. Filed under: Announcements, Contests, goofy crap, Miscellaneous | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

***** 908 for-eggs ***** is back up and running. You can call me with your guesses again!

the 908 for eggs line is temporarily dead, thanks to T Monster, I mean mobile (no, I meant monster)

I will be stomping mudholes in someone’s hiney shortly …

t monster squashed the egg line temporarily (908 for eggs)

Till then email Magic Word Contest guesses to eggstacee@hotmail.com

I am soooooo eventually going to lay it all out for everyone… it’s bad.

First, resolution, then – they bite the soap

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too blind

Posted on June 1, 2012. Filed under: Mental Hurling, Prose | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

there it sits, a pathetic sight once caught by wandering eyes

design flaws rendered the line over after launch, few exist if others at all

not novel nor sought, no value assigned, stripped for scrap but left with one ability

intertia, none bother to know but avoided as if cursed,

no touch gave power to unlock the intended purpose encased in the derelict form

a secret, a test, a gift based on curiosity and drive to experience

lost things, a treasure and a dream

necessity to connect, find a mirrored path

silent and a dire reminder of suffocating solitute

to hint at it’s truth destroys its purose,

to utter objection destroys any hope

resigned to silent torment in secret

watched it sits, avoided, awash in disgust but a source

of individual solace

a chance at liberation

worth waiting

time is just time

it passes and patience is a price willingly paid

for a chance to face any reflection

such kindred emotion, patience is my bane

a price to pay, always a price

….. pain dulls over time

sit… learn… pay

endure in persuit of that moment

to have that moment

any price

pay pay perpetuate pay

kindred and waiting willing enduring…

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Necessity

Posted on May 8, 2012. Filed under: Miscellaneous, Prose | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Calm, there’s air. Pull – Correct. Acceptable.  Now conform.

Not to convention, An asinine supposition.

Adhere to your set construct. The Concept is clear.

The mechanism, established.

Try to resist if necessary, to question sharpens the intellect.

Do so tethered to the concrete. The axis all sentience, in its time of peril defers to. A limbic compulsion. Muscle memory.

Tout. il n’y a pas un seule autre.

Universally, all return to that which allows the psyche to permit existence

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Moving SOON

Posted on January 3, 2012. Filed under: Miscellaneous, Musings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I have plans… yeah, big plans. I want a home, a place of my own. Somewhere I can stretch out and feel comfortable.

Be myself (whomever that may be at that moment)

Somewhere I can make sense out of myself – maybe give others insight into me. (I’ll feel so naked . HAHAHAHA like there’s anyone who hasn’t seen me naked at this point?)

COMING SOON….

La maison d’oeuf.   eatit (no please don’t. not really)

I’m building a nest, I have to wait for a man named Daniel and then it begins.  It all begins tomorrow!  I hope I make it a nicer place than my rl house (: I’m SUCH a slob hahahaha

I hope to see everyone (and I DO mean everyone) there in the future. ooh ooh a webwarming party! I want presence hahaha punny huh?

Come see soon, I’ll let you know when it’s time. It’s going to be legen…

 

 

    wait for it

 

 

…dary!

 

-s

(Much Love NPH)

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BlogKu and General Spew

Posted on October 23, 2011. Filed under: Miscellaneous, Musings | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

It’s strange. I never, I mean NEVER shut up. I usually write as much as well. The odd thing is trying to figure out what to put on here. I decided when I started this not to be one of those people who bitch and moan about their “woe is me” issues… that’s pretty much why I’ve been silent for so long. (If you can’t do the math on that one, just hit the little X button on the top right and save yourself now)

That’s the thing about bipolar. My moods come and go, sometimes one will stick around longer than another. I miss mania haha. I’m attempting to get to a point where I’m “surfing the high-end” so to speak. I’m on a med cocktail that should safely get me there. Trick is to hit the crest and stay there without flinging out like a hypersonic projectile into outer space. (I have my shrink’s cell and pager numbers and I’m not afraid to use them, much to his chagrin!) The thought of that happening seems impossible at the moment. Ah the joy of the down-swing, I know it well.

Having said that, I think I’ll move on.

It’s hard to be funny when you haven’t been out and about much to see the humor in normie behavior/action. Around the house I crack my 13 year old up. Don’t be fooled, 13 and more intellectually on the ball than most adults in this godforsaken backwoods in which we reside. I’ve crammed vocabulary prefixes and suffixes, word origins and so much more down her throat since, well birth, that she’s a teacher’s wet dream.

Last night I introduced her to Haiku. She is a poet like myself, and like me (totally my influence, yes) she writes free form verse, a very loose style, somewhere between prose and poem. I loathe rhyme. I find it trite and pedestrian.  Hmmm, I need a word here that rhymes with gopher and means punch bowl.  I think I’ll change it to digging ditcher and pitcher. Yeah, you did it! -who cares about the original intended imagery. (asshat.) Because that’s so true to what the original thought you wanted to express, right? I say fook that. I only respect one “standardized” form of poetry… haiku.

To hammer into Q the 5-7-5 syllable structure I started by knocking out an old one I composed and delivered to my favorite icon, The Rev. Maynard James Keenan. I know he got it, it was confirmed. As if the source confirming it weren’t enough shortly after he received it he changed his homepage for the first time in YEARS from an image of himself making a peace sign that partically obscured his face to, you guessed it … a HAIKU.

Woohoo, my brush with fame. His haiku was about The Aristocrats but hell, who composes and publishes a random haiku straight from their rump and slaps it on their previously neglected homepage ~unless~ they had recently been inspired? That was ALL ME. SuperpartybangbangrocketpartygogobabyWOW! I was (and am) pumped about it (to this day.) The Rev and I go way back, (in my head) haha.

Ahem, as I was saying, I knocked out my Maynard haiku then proceeded to spew forth random “randy” and sometimes downright dirty haiku out of the blue. They came like naked ninjas. I had my Q cracking up till she did unladylike things. (She was laughing too hard to blame it on the dog.) I even went as far as to make a limerick/haiku bastard lovechild.  There once was a man – The man was from Nantucket – He had a big … you get the picture. Q did too, she had bladder control issues, I loved it. I can make that child laugh till her face is a rictus of pain. Utter silence, eyes squeezed shut, arms out – contorted oddly with hands locked and fingers splayed. Total immobility. Like a snapshot of a seizure. Then there’s an exchange of air, not sure if inhalation or if she’s exhaling, either way the sound is the same… the dog is the first to hear it and her head pops up in confusion, then it falls into the human range. It’s a high pitched yet breathy gasp (inhalation I suppose then,) and the “Still shot from the Exorcist” moment ends. She doubles over clutching her abdomen gasping for air cursing me for whatever bodily function failed her. I remind her that no one can MAKE you do anything. If you played the butt trumpet it was your choice to unleash your hold on those sphincter muscles…

She doesn’t go for it. At the mention of butt trumpets she decides to do an encore more often than not, followed by an awkward dash to the ladies. The journey looks like a dazed hungry zombie… slow, graceless, yet with purpose. I ADORE my QQ.  Her laughter, (or most times, inability to laugh because she’s caught in a full body spasm of complete hilarity,) brings me such joy.

There’s no feeling in the world like making your kid laugh till they fall over, literally. She actually has ROFL and LMAO (LHAO). We don’t use insulting acronyms, they’re an abuse to the person you speak to and those particular two are trite and untrue when used. (Unless you’re present during a goof session between my Q and myself and you want to quickly describe her status.) I’ve never before or since seen someone roll on the floor laughing, until my Q.  She loves to hate me for it. I love her for loving me so much to hate it when I do that and still ~beg~ for more!

I have no idea what I intended to blog about, I just kinda started typing. I know when Q gets wind (hehe wind, butt trumpet) of this she’s going to be furious. I will explain it was for the sake of art and expressing myself.

 I’ll do it through interpretive dance. She LOVES that one hahahahahahaha

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My coin, flipped

Posted on September 18, 2011. Filed under: Prose | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Thick tendrills reach out of darkness, creep along – drag their way across anything in their path.
Blind, yet they move with purpose. Each seeking to fufill it’s intent.
They lust for flesh.
Twisted fiverous doubt and misery. They hunt in the absence of light.
Unknowing, we offer ourselves to the horror.
No,
not all, only those of us who lack hope.
That inner light whose glimmer banishes the atrocities.
I yearn for such a radiant source. I knew it long ago.
Time is relative –
could have been yesterday.
The only certainty is now.
As I go to close my eyes I do so knowing I sacrifice my flesh and mind.
Chemically, I have no choice.
Having said this, I reluctantly slip into the void.

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Old Posts don’t die…

Posted on July 23, 2011. Filed under: Miscellaneous, Musings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

Old Posts don’t die…. but then here everything is new. Take a peek at what bipolar is like without complaints or explanations shoved down your throat. Experience the whirlwind with none of the moaning and groaning… hehe I keep the crybaby stuff for the privacy of my home (should it roll around, and it does.) I’ve recently migrated and just want a chance to show my stuff. I’ll have new material asap but for now, hop in and have a laugh, sate your curiosity,or  just be weird (like me!)

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Old Posts don’t die…

Posted on July 23, 2011. Filed under: Miscellaneous, Musings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

No, old posts don’t die… people don’t realize they exsist in the first place from what I’m gathering!  There’s some fun stuff back there. Poor little posts have been shoved out of the limelight by younger, prettier, newer posts. These forerunners deserve some accolades (uhh yeah, credit and stuff) for being trailblazers and breaking new ground in EggBlogging. Why not give them a read, they are in order from oldest to more recent…  Allonz-y, off you go now. The Queen of nothing commands you to read.  (Like that’s going to work – So Majestic explains why….)

https://eggstacee.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/so-majestic/   My first post and simplest piece of prose, I’m VERY proud of it and yet no one has really had a chance to see it.

https://eggstacee.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/do-dah/  A schizo romp and homage to my old blog’s game widgit Othello. Not relevant to wordpress but funny regarding Marcimallow so worth a peek

https://eggstacee.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/why-its-greased-lightning/  THE INFAMOUS DEATH CAR POST. I’m about to fall over, I just found out several people I know had no idea what I was talking about when I spoke of the “death car.” I’m accusing them of being traitors, (earning a ride in the death car hahaha,) but they just didn’t know of the post at all. 
Alors, voici.. je l’ecrit pour vous maitenant mes palourdes. <- a kickback to an old old attempt at a minor blog effort

I spent some fun time on those posts, I hope they get enough exposure to make a few people laugh (or think) too. I’ve never been one for keeping my skeletons in closets why should old posts be any different? (8

-egg

-Stacy

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Magic Word Contest

Posted on July 21, 2011. Filed under: Contests | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

It’s here, it’s here – try to figure out the Magic Word Contest. and WIN

Real contest, FREE TO ENTER, Multiple guesses welcomed

ANYONE can enter and WIN (except where prohibited by law)

(Where it’s prohibited I haven’t a clue, we’ll play it by ear!)

Real PRIZES   whoohoo!

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Ok, sure, you betcha, right on

Posted on July 21, 2011. Filed under: Miscellaneous, Musings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I have no idea when the mental blogtomic aftermath petered out but it has for now. I guess the honeymoon is over. The other day everything I came across turned into a blog post. Now my head is like… hmm… nobody wants to hear about THAT.  haha. The gremlin is napping or sleeping or maybe I accidentally swallowed the little booger.

What’s really funny is “advice.” People want to suggest what I should put in, write or do with my blog.  I’m thinking… none of you are what I’d call “successful” in the blog department – what is the appeal in listening to your advice supposed to be? (8  (bitshhh.)

Yeah.

I adore hypocrisy. Not when it involves me having to dine on crow at any point… not like that I mean in others. People get SO intent on what they say or do they fail to see it when they are the perpetrators. Point it out and WOAH, hold on now missy. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’d do right to watch what you say. OR You’re changing the subject, what I’m telling you is… blah blah blah. I have learned something awesome in my $A^#& years of bipolarness.

I have learned the merit in letting wrong people be right. It is AWESOME. You should really try to incorporate it into your personality. You know what I’m saying don’t you?

Someone you deal with says or does something that you recognize immediately as either factually incorrect, patently wrong or just plain ignorant in general. You mention in a pc way that maybe what they meant was ____insert correction here___ and they insist that what they’ve expelled is “absolutely rockin’ the poo.”

What you have to do now is ask yourself, “Is anyone going to suffer horribly over this (other than the slickness that spewed the crap in question that is,) or can this be something that Mr(s/iss) Mouth can chalk up to “Look Ma, I did it!” I’ve found that most times it’s the latter. When someone is really pushy about their faulty statements/ideas generally it’s because they need some sort of validation ~that bad~ and hey, why not be big about it and let them be Neo for once. (Everybody should get a turn at being The One.)

Try not to patronize too much when you bend on the ignorance, and don’t throw accolades over it, just say “ok” and let it go. Tada, good karma and Doofy gets a WooHoo. It’s better than an all out assault on Doofy’s stubborn ignorant pride, that is almost universally futile.

I have an ex I had to mentally throw in the towel and let him think he was correct in thinking there were 52 states. Showing him reference documentation did no good. His mind wouldn’t let him reconcile the facts with what he held true in his head.  -Maybe he’ll go to the King or Queen of Spades on vacation. I pity the travel agent who has to book that reservation. If it were me I’d book him on the next short bus to the closest middle school geography class. I’d even pack a crust-less pb&j sack lunch. …yeah, I’m that kinda badasssuperbangbangrockinmommaYEAH! awwwright

honk

(that was my horn, digit) So anyway. I hope we’ve all learned a little something about ignorant people and choosing our battles! (Shut up Egg it’s not like you’re Mr. Rodgers) Geez, right ok. So I’m barefoot (eatit) and don’t wear cardigans (eatit) and wrapping this up.

That dude I dated, turned out he wasn’t as much stupid as he was a drug addict. #eatit I was the stupid one. LIKE I WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT??? I thought he had untreated mild mental health issues, I was shrink shopping to help his silly ass. Drugs, how in the hell was I supposed to know THAT? (insert your smug comments here, I can take ’em haha I can let you be right…)

Don’t forget to go guess at the magic word, scroll back a few days, enter all you want! Nothing is done with your info, at all. I could care less what your email is I’m not some net wizard. I have no ulterior motivation whatsoever. I just want to have fun with my readers and genuinely want to see if anyone can figure out what the word is/decipher how my mind works.

peacy outu (love me some higa)

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Blog Libs – YAY SUCCESS!!!!

Posted on July 21, 2011. Filed under: Blog Libs, Miscellaneous | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

FINALLY SOMEONE INTERACTED, a relative but hey, HOORAY! I’m so THRILLED to have MY FIRST ENGAGED RESPONSEthat’s all I need to celebrate! I’m posting her Blog Lib here to honor her & the occasion:

***********************************************************************

The original “About last night…” Blog Lib is waiting for you to play at:

 https://eggstacee.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/blog-libs-about-last-night/ Head on over and finish the story in your own brand of silly!

***********************************************************************

 

Lisa‘s Lib: About Last Night…

So there I was sitting on my (tuna fish) when I realized, it was (dirty) HOT in here. I found it quite (green) because usually by this time of night I’m (bathing) to the point where I’m throwing on sleepy pants and wondering if I should grab a sweater or a warm (hot rod).

I get up and stand on a floor vent and much to my (ACK) it feels really warm, just like the air coming out of it! The first thought I had was to go outside and (think) the unit in the back yard. I grabbed a flashlight and my trusty (stilts) and tromped through the jungle I call a lawn out back and (ate) what I could. All seemed normal.  My next thought was the inside cooling unit. I made my way back through the (bed) to the freshly mown front lawn and into the (fruit loop). It was hotter than (chicken).

I (watched) to the hall where the ac unit is hidden. It was so hot in the house I (swiftly) made a command decision and took off my (flapjacks).  Practically naked, I methodically pulled everything I could off the exterior. The coils were (runny)! I rounded up a scrub brush, a chair for height and the vacuum with the (necktie) attachment to suck up the clotted dust and dirt. After some (creepy) cleaning and vacuuming I managed to clean out the coils and the surrounding area. I (spookily) put the panels and filter back on the unit and (drank) for the best.

By this time I was sweating like a (wildebeest). I crossed my (stars) and sheepishly turned the air conditioner back on… SUCCESS! It was blowing cold air like (shiny)! I jumped in the shower and threw some clothes back on, tweeted my (stupid) MacGyver ninja talents and looked for a (flash drive) to cover up with. I was really cold again.

**********************************************************************

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From Another Me

Posted on July 21, 2011. Filed under: Prose | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Perpetual scabs – unable to heal
mental fingers worry and pick
time and repetition provide sick comfort
wear them like a badge
Survived.  So what?
others care – if worried to that point
pushed and dragged
wear them down – make them see
sick pride – silly games
all justification
a reason to give
a broken psyche to exist
malleable reality is beauty
Chameleon that has been created
rears the appropriate head
-give a situation
get an adaptation-
all to get by – no clear purpose
attempted use of ones self – inept
Fragile – much the snowflake
created by bitter forces
transient beauty
carried by whims
devoid of malice
dangerous to those overexposed
annihilated by pressure
would that I were a snowflake…
Brutally I remain
a collection of wanting scabs.

-sc/ur410/us

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Perception

Posted on July 21, 2011. Filed under: Prose | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Quite an odd feeling
Something being gone when you fully expect it to be there.
Sometimes it takes the absence of something you take for granted to make you see.
An obvious sentiment however one that bears repeating.

Little bits of my mind are lost, things I thought I needed. Lost. I can call it such because I actually miss what is gone. Lost implies you can possibly recover something, just a matter of will. Regardless of the terminology, the bottom line is… I am no longer whole.

How easy it is to shut down, to not see. The ability to bend reality in your own mind is a beautiful thing but transient. Reality is persistent. Eventually it will creep back in, steal into your thoughts, ruin any construction you choose to hide behind. No matter how grand or how simple, you decide to make your perception of a situation, the reality of it will get you eventually.

If time is a luxury then I am more poor than I imagined. Each tick of the clock brings me that much closer to actually seeing. The things I can not acknowledge will not be ignored. Where do you hide when your mind betrays you, when you can no longer blind yourself?

I spend my time unwisely. In these moments I have been given what have I accomplished? Each breath I draw is a lost moment, one where no dream was achieved, no progress made, nothing beneficial. Just a simple exchange of oxygen for carbon dioxide. The world will spin with or without any of us.

Where do you look to find a point? Do you listen to the word of another? Ultimately we answer to no one but ourselves.

Why must I mentally drag myself to even the most mundane of actions? There is something there, something driving me, an answer, I know there is. I have to make a choice. A large part of me looks at all of this life’s possibilities and feels the urge to jump to action!

What is unfortunate is even the smallest of doubts can outweigh the best of intentions. This burden, knowing the magnitude of what I have lost, weighs more than I know how to bear. I am at the mercy of my own insecurity, my own inaction.

There is an answer, there is an explanation. It is part of what is lost and I cling to the possibility of finding it. I now sit as I have so many times, fooling myself into believing that I will recover that missing magic bit of information. I think it is this delusion alone that powers my ability to move at all.

I am here. I will be here. I will keep looking.

I promise not to stray too far if you promise not to point out that I move in circles.

sc/bang01ish-ra(t)

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Magic Word Contest

Posted on July 21, 2011. Filed under: Contests | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

It’s official. I offer you all a challenge. This time with tangible prizes! Simple enough right?
THE PRIZES ARE:
1. An original ~hand written~ work from my collection (genre and date of piece will be at my discretion)
2. An original piece from the unique and unparalleled Marcimallow Jewelry Collection

The rules are as follows:
1. Follow my blog (YAY FUN!)
2. Read the July 11th repost “For Your Consideration” : https://eggstacee.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/for-your-consideration/ .
3.Try to guess/deduce what the “true magic word” is as indicated by the piece posted.
4. Email your your guess to magicword@mail.com.
Winners will be notified by a reply to their entry email address. I promise you, your email address is safe with me. I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I tried to gather them all up haha. Do not worry about that.
5. No words submitted in the posting area will count, any guesses posted there will be deleted or ignored. However comments are STRONGLY ENCOURAGED and will get a response. No hints though!
6. The first person to email magicword@mail.com with the correct word in English shall be declared the winner. For the record: I DO NOT want your email address for any reason other than to contact you if you win. I’m no web genius, by any means, and I have no motive for gaterhing information.
7. Multiple guesses are welcomed however ONE guess per email and MASSIVE SPAMMING WILL DISQUALIFY YOU. Sending “mass mailings” of every word in the dictionary… will get you banned from the contest. (8 Either give it honest tries or move along. Don’t start firing off Websters at me.
8. By entering the contest you agree NOT TO DISCLOSE THE ACTUAL WORD TO ANYONE ELSE. EACH EMAIL ENTRY IS CONSIDERED YOUR PROMISE  THAT SHOULD YOU BE THE WINNER YOU WILL KEEP THE “TRUE MAGIC WORD” SECRET.
9. Once the first correct entry is received, the contest will continue until the winner is contacted and arrangements are made for prize delivery.
10. ONLY the winner will get a response once their correct entry is received should the first correct entrant fail to respond and claim the prize within 7 days of a second correct entry, the prize offer will be rescinded the second person with the correct entry will be contacted and given 7 days after the third correct entry arrives to claim the prize and so forth.
11. THERE WILL BE NO ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE “TRUE MAGIC WORD.” ONLY THE WINNER’S NAME/PICTURE IF THEY PROVIDE ONE – SHOULD THAT PERSON CHOOSE TO BE NAMED/LAUDED, OR IF THE WINNER WISHES TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS I’LL ANNOUNCE THAT THE CONTEST HAS ENDED AND PICS OF THE PRIZES WILL BE POSTED BEFORE THEY ARE SHIPPED.
12. I – Stacy Clark – the owner of this blog, reserve the right to end this contest at any time due to any extenuating circumstance.
13. Prizes will be sent through the U.S. mail and all details will be discussed with the winning entrant.
14. This contest is open to anyone of legal age, anywhere, except where prohibited by law, contest entries must be in English to be eligible.

*************By entering the contest you agree NOT TO DISCLOSE THE ACTUAL WORD TO ANYONE ELSE. EACH EMAIL ENTRY IS CONSIDERED YOUR CONSENT THAT SHOULD YOU BE THE WINNER YOU WILL KEEP THE “TRUE MAGIC WORD” SECRET****************

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For Your Consideration

Posted on July 21, 2011. Filed under: Contests, Prose | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Ask anyone to say the magic word
invariably they will say “please.”
That is a fallacy, a lie, it holds no power.
I know true magic.
A single word – when spoken properly –
can devistate.
This word can end lives.
Destroy families.
Cause the mightiest of men to question their own worth.
This damning word is tricky,
it is generally benign in nature.
We use it every day.
The evil magic it holds is manifested by the speaker.
It’s duality only exsists due to the capacity
for cruelty in men’s hearts… or women’s.
Both are as likely to curse another
with this life altering utterance.
Once viciously used, once Pandora’s box is opened,
it’s never truly the same afterward,
it’s never quite shut again.
Try as you wish, no ammends are complete.
The word leaves it’s mark on the receiver.
I dare not divulge the secret
I will say this:
Speak not in anger and do not be rash.
Words can be powerful.
Burning bridges can consume in a literal sense…

sc
sw/urus2/3.10

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Do dah

Posted on July 21, 2011. Filed under: Musings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

For the record – the othello game was lost in the migration. It was indigenous to blogspot… I’ve found no games on wordpress … carry on.

So I’m still tinkering with my blog here… I found a fake othello game. I intended to be really really productive. Honest! But………. I had to test the game out right?  Yeah, consider it tested.  A lot.  Mucho. Excessively. I whipped its A$$. YEAH – TAKE IT – IT – IN YOUR PIXELLATED FACE REVERSI OTHELLO KNOCK OFF MUTH…. ahem.  Pardon me.  Needless to say it’s difficulty level is not set to a level that I find challenging. I still enjoy it thoroughly.  Feel free to pound on it, Let me know your best score. I left him with 9 on the board. It was my best victory (EAT IT REVERSI) that I recall offhand. I can’t remember how many I had. (JUST HOW MANY WERE LEFT AFTER I MOWED HIS LITTLE DISK DUDES DOWN, BOW, BOW, I AM YOUR MASTER FLIPPY GAME,)  I hope you find it pleasant.  If you have any other thoughts or ideas of interesting little time passers let me know, I’ll see if I can dig one up. (I AM THE REVERSI COMMANDER, THAT GAME QUAKES IN FEAR WHEN I PASS – I MADE IT MY BIT .. ahem) So, now that I’ve taken a break I do believe I’ll move on to another project and maybe come back here later and post another piece of prose/writing or something of the like. I feel like venting something dark. (LIKE WHAT THAT GAME SAW WHEN I STUFFED IT IN THE FACE >YEAH<)
Take care, be well
Je veux que nouveau palourdes. Mais palourdes que parler cette fois, non pas que les anciennes. C’est vrai! …  d’accord, au revoir
-egg

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So Majestic

Posted on July 21, 2011. Filed under: Prose | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

I am the Queen of Nothing
I rule over the void with diligence
My commands echo back unheeded
My subjects, shadow and air
With loving care I tend to all
Every inch of oblivion
The sum of negative at my fingertips
I wield great power here
Tho I reign supreme I do so prudently
Great care is to be taken not to upset any balance
Rest assured while this Crown of Air rests upon my troubled head
Nothing will be alright

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