Reprieve

Posted on August 13, 2012. Filed under: Mental Hurling, Musings, Prose, why the hell not | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

Silenced.  My voice means nothing
My words are all I have, all I am left with
Once proud and possessing qualities that made me whole
Complete
I am, was, stripped of all and left with my words
They fall on deaf ears
Air passes from my lips with thought and feeling,
At times great emotion accompanying it
The sounds I make are meaningless.
Reduced now to ink and paper
Searching for those who would understand
I see Hope.  What I recall Hope to be.
The world turns a deaf ear to my one remaining sanity
Save an island of hope
A promise of things I dare not say aloud
Lest the spell be broken
I long to freely admit my desire
Damn this self imposed gag order
I want camaraderie.  I long for sympathetic ears
I need intelligent banter.  I crave reciprocation
I sit, drowning in apathetic masses –
Unaware of the horror their mundane existence represents
Therein lies no beauty, no emotion, no truth
They grind and they shun simple words
Because they represent complex notions:
Why?  How?  What if?
Do you see?
Their eyes tightly closed they shuffle through life
Refusing to stray from their blindered paths
I need joy.  I’ve learned to relish my pain
I have to stay off their path
I endure, and have done so, because I have felt what it is
To be alive
I have died many times and come back
There is no blinder to negate that
The common consensus will not “see”
They refuse to hear.  Can NOT accept my words
Deny my voice
I cease to exist, it is their comfort
I can not stay silent
Though I may be ignored what is festering in me must be expelled
I will not allow my voice to be lost
Hope – my island – Hope listens
Hope hears, Hope understands
I say this now, know your true name
Walk with me, listen and know
That in doing so, You are Hope

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2 Responses to “Reprieve”

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Letting go of the past and relishing in the joy life has to offer is a choice. Having it all is simply believing.that you do. Your an amazing person with.so much to offer. Just believe.

I get it now, in a way I agree. I promise there are some things I see that I slapped in inner child around till she caved and did let go (:
However…
The things that I refuse to allow or “let slide” are legal matters, I have a whole new perspective on that, along with a stress free certainty that I will make those who’ve defrauded and/or assaulted me be legally held accountable for their actions and forced to make restitutions to reset my family to a comparable or improved mental and financial/situational state than we had prior to their actions. (:
Go me!


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